For those of us who are used to apartment dwelling, here’s a short how-to on house maintenance.
Step 1: Determine the heat will not come on and text as much to your husband.
Step 2: Be mildly offended when he texts back to turn the dial further, as you’ve already figured out that much.
Step 3: Look up lighting a pilot light on Howstuffworks.com
Step 4: Retrieve a matchbook from the mysterious and intriguingly huge collection of matchbooks found in your grandmother’s pantry.
Step 5: Put on How the Grinch Stole Christmas house-shoes, collect smartphone and matchbox, open basement door with skeleton key and head downstairs.
Step 6: Grab flashlight in the basement and approach furnace.
Step 7: See any panel that *might* open to reveal the pilot light is covered with lots and lots of spiderwebs, and declare this Mission Impossible.
Step 8: Head back upstairs, get a blanket and leave it for when the husband returns home.