So you bought a house and have decided, after previously agreeing to put a fresh coat of paint on the woodwork, to restore it to its original glory. Here’s a few steps to get you started.
Step 1: While using the hose attachment on the Dyson one night, notice how some paint flakes off on the baseboards.
Step 2: Get a plastic putty knife and scrape away some paint.
Step 3: Start scraping more paint and decide, against all good reason, to restore the woodwork.
Step 4: Tell your spouse. Be enthusiastic in the face of his doubt and the declaration that this project is “All you.”
Step 5: Go to the hardware store and get better scrapers.
Step 6: Scrape. Scrape. Scrape until your shoulder and wrist hurt and you wonder why you are so insane.
Step 7: Your spouse and sibling pickup some gel paint remover. They have luck with it. You, while seeing the value of it when you run into the doorways with 4 layers of paint, hate the gummy mess it makes.
Step 8: Pass off the gummy, paint-bubbling doorway to your mom, who is crazy enough to offer help. Resume scraping paint by hand in places with only 1-2 layers of paint.
Step 9: In what is possibly the Best Christmas Gift EVER, receive a loaner heat gun from your brother who happens to be a professional carpenter and is helping out free of charge.
Step 10: Try out the heat gun. Declare it’s the Best Thing Ever, and try not to burn yourself. Or melt the carpet. Or set the house on fire in any way.
Step 11: Curse your husband while he’s at work for painting the walls before you could get all the paint scraped from the baseboards.
Step 12: Even though it’s tons of work, consider every piece of paint that comes off a victory and love doing it.