Ah, December. Winter is coming, the holidays approach, busy times for everyone, but for some of us, December is a giant month of crap. By some of us, I mean anyone who works in retail.
I hate December. I can’t stand the extra-crankiness it seems to bring out in people, their rushed attitudes, and how any tiny thing sets people off. Yes, there are perfectly pleasant people I encounter each and every day that I work, and always will be, but those people will never tip the December scales back in the direction of Woo-Hoo.
Here’s a few holiday tips for all those non-retail people:
1: If you are on your cell phone and speak loudly during your entire transaction at the register, do not expect my cashiers to be anything more than robotic towards you. Seriously.
2: Throwing your credit card across the counter only gets it tossed back once it’s been swiped. Don’t look insulted. You deserve it.
3: Stores start getting Christmas crap in September. If you had to have that particular decoration, mid-December is probably too late to get it. It’s not my fault; don’t be mad at me for not having it in stock.
4: Telling Any employee, Anywhere, that you’re sorry they have to work on Christmas while you are shopping on Christmas is soooooo unnecessary. Please don’t. Hold it in. Really. Really, really.
5: Remember, the teensiest bit of kindness does go a long way. We’re really trying to be pleasant and nice, but we can’t have rainbows, reindeer, and sugar plums coming out of us 24/7.
Oh, and who cares if someone says Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. I’m pretty sure religious holidays are a hol-i-day. Get over it and stop being insulted. There are much more important issues in the world to expend energy on.
And now, I think I’m going to go have some rum. I mean, rum with a splash of eggnog. Uhh, I mean eggnog.